May 102012

M3UBHA: “My numerical age here is my approximate <em>apparent</em> age per ”

  1. M3KEH0: Definition

    1. M3UC3L: My numerical age here is my approximate apparent age:

      1. M3UCGX: as apparent age, not actual & numeric age, is what’s key in finding romance & even typically friendship

        1. MEZZ9L:Do you get this?
          1. MEZZC9:Unless they’ve seen something like this article, people today typically don’t get this because  of our strong unquestioned custom to go by numerical-age. Including:
            1. M5UBFG: This is typically NOT obvious to those whose lives & looks roughly match their numerical-age, which is about 80% of people on the surface.
              1. MEZZQ3:But my looks & situation CAN’T be read from my numerical age, so I personally know how going by numerical-age wrongs people.
            2. MEZZDK:Still people typically don’t get until they personally have have been painfully singled-out & wrongfully ruled against by numerical-age discrimination
              1. MEZZLE:I didn’t get this (including why it’s very unwise to tell one’s numerical age) until I saw it was happening to me, so I certainly wish someone had explained this to me as a kid.
        2. MEYSTA:Why is this true?
          1. MEYSVA:(Using apparent age, not actual & numerical age) is natural, what creatures have been doing for the last ~3billion years of life-form’s existence, including what creatures have been doing to successfully find their mate for the last 1 billion years of bi-sexed creatures!
            1. MEYSYJ:Creatures naturally pick their mate simply based on what they see the other creature looks & acts like
              1. MEYT0T:and frankly, when all the creatures are naked, as all creatures naturally are –well except but “modern’ humans
              2. MEYT3C:They don’t know now to count years, they don’t even know what a number is, and they’ve been getting along & developed fine without this for 1 billion years! USING NUMERICAL AGE TO FIND FRIENDS & MATES IS UNNATURAL for all other nature.
            2. MEYY5R:For the 1 billion years of bisexed creatures, creatures found their mates just fine without ever even knowing what a number was!
        3. MEYTAW:So why are humans in a strong deep habit of asking & using numerical age to find a friend & especially a mate?
          1. MEYTCQ:Humans in today’s “modern” societies have grown up until about age 22 being strongly grouped numerical age (a particular age for each grade level, physically grouping all the students together for each grade level) for all K-12 education and often for the first 4 years of college as well.
            1. MEYU1W:Why? Well this assumes, and by doing it also extremely strongly teaches our youth, that numerical age fully measures & dictates one’s maturity, both physically & emotionally.
            2. MEYTTL:But in just thinking about it, that is very wrong. As it’s very easy to see humans are not nearly so uniform. We’re not a line of identical factory stamped out screws. Each person grows up at different rates in different areas. And very often, nobody is all average: in some areas one can’t go as fast & far as the average, and in other areas one can go well beyond.
              1. MEYUD9:And indeed as the kids get older, starting say in high-school and a little more so in college, having a class of mixed grade levels starts to be allowed a little; but still in both High School and then again in College, being “a Senior” is thought of & indeed celebrated as being a huge difference from being “a Freshman”.
            3. MEYUZ5:Consequently, we’ve created & have a factory-style a ubiquitous initial-life education system (where large batches of human beings (mere children), grouped by age, are educated as if they are uniform identical machine parts stamped-out on an assembly line)
              1. MEZ0QD:with real-world poor results points out Salman Kahn in 2012 (@11:33:36) and
              2. MEZ0RC:decades before him, is strongly characterized as maligning students Big Brother-style sang Pink Floyd “The Wall”.
            4. MEYTVM:And consequently, we’re brainwashing youth with this huge mis-lead & mis-coding that numerical age determines maturity. So from this youth brainwashing,
              1. MEYTVS:it’s super-typical then to deeply mis-assume a good, healthy, friendship & romance must be between people of very close age numerical age
                1. MEZ120:including since that is the only bond (between persons of very close numerical age) the students have been shown & often allowed.
                2. MEYUFX:this mis-thinking is very slow to fade, as well demonstrated on dating websites:
                  1. MEYUSF:for persons out of college especially in their 20s
                    1. MEYUJ0:women will typically still insist they mate they date be only no more than say 15% older than they are.
                    2. MEYUMN:men will typically allow a much broader age range for their mate (because they hare happy to get just-sex, and correctly realize there the only thing that matters is is she looks good) but still when it comes to something serious (as marriage) will likewise mis-insist a mate near the same age.
              2. MEYX9N:one learns to mis-think that (way too simply) numerical age specifies overall maturity
                1. MEYXCX:so one doesn’t well learn to actually measure and specify maturity including in the many different aspects of a person, both physical & mental MEYXNE:but this thinking is very wrong, as
                  1. MEYXV1:people are not the same maturity everywhere even when they are grouped by age
                  2. MEYXV9:people mature at different rates in different areas, most especially in the rest of their life when they are out of initial standard school (K-12 plus undergrad) so are no longer grouped & taught by age (indeed, on one’s own, people can & do even become notably immature in areas of their lives)
          2. MEYVUG:Humans have long had the deep bad custom that in romance the man must be a little numerically older than the woman, and occasionally (in practice) a lot numerically older, but the reverse (woman being older) is taboo.
            1. MEYVW7:So then one needs numerical ages to insure this.
            2. MEYVX3:I don’t know yet where this custom comes from.
            3. MEYYH0:This custom is bad:
              1. MEYW2G:It is a sexist custom notably wrongfully favoring the men as women tend to live a few years longer then men (which would suggest that instead the women women be a little older) but with present custom it results a huge number of single ederly women with no men:
                1. MEYWCN:just look at retirement city Laguna Woods, CA where the women outnumber the men ~2 to 1.
              2. MEYYIW:There seems no need for it.
                1. MEYYKR:Yes, women typically loose their furtility around 40 whereas men can be furtile into 70s or 80s or more, but this is only important when biological offspring is desired, which is & should be a separate question.
              3. MEYYMJ:It is seemingly unnatural; I don’t know any other creature which insists on this, including since it would be tricky other creatures can’t measure numerical age.
            4. MEYWJR:Forutnately this custom seems be becoming dismissed, but very slowly
              1. MEYWKT:so far mostly only jokingly, as suggested by the names of the popular shows & websites on the matter (as Cougar Town)
        4. M3UCKE: Why not doing this is bad. Using actual numerical age to select one’s mate:
          1. M3UCKK:is 100% man-made & unnatural (nature has creatures NEVER doing it))
          2. M3UCKP:leads in practice to nasty age discrimination & prejudice especially
            1. M3UCL1: discrimination by those (especially the younger) who haven’t yet realized that, out of school, numerical age is of little importance because out-of-school people mature & naturally-age at markedly different rates (& sometimes even mature backwards!), unlike what they saw in-school where, for about their first 22 years of their life, they were grouped in classes of about the same numerical age, and trained the same as a group, so grew the same.
            2. M3UCKU: discrimination against those who look notably older & younger than they actually are
              1. M3UD1R: If one is numerically older than they look, people often strongly mis-assumes have-been else should-have-been dating and married and with kids and possibly even divorced, and maybe even retired, even when they aren’t any of that.
                1. M3UDPT: This is increasingly common as people are increasingly
                  1. M3UDS5: living much longer lives and aging slower, due to improved healthcare & diets.
                  2. M3UDSA:  expected to study much more, and restudy, to start & keep up in careers, so don’t yet have time for romance, marriage, & kids
              2. M3UD4U: If one is numerically younger than they look, people often mis-assumes they are immature even when they aren’t
                1. M3UDJ7: indeed at least physically they are mature, may very much need to fast find good mates in romance before their youth quickly disappears because of their already rapid aging, so not be held back simply because of a number!
                2. M3UDCA: yet even US law require them to be treated as immature; as our laws say you are adult simply because you’re 18 or 21, not because of any maturity test (as rite-of-passage) which would be much more sensible.
        5. M3UCLJ:consequently:
          1. M3UCLO:Those seeing romance should
            1. MEYZAD:(other than assuring the romance is legal as the person is 18 or over)
              1. MF004G:Generally best not to even ask numerical age,
                1. M5UB1K:“Don’t ask, Don’t tell” numerical age of a romance or a friend at least until the two of you have gone out ~8 times and have read & agree-with this article or the equivalent.
              2. MEYZ4R:search for for an actual/numeric-age range is so wide it is ONLY used to determine a legal romance,
                1. MF00QU:as “age 18 to 118”
                2. MEYZDQ:especially when asked for an age range (most notably criteria for a dating site/service),
                  1. MF00U7:In a2011~ 60-Minutes style  TV program on web dating sites, featured that internally they quietly widen the allowable mate age range women give in their seraches because women consistently pick an age range too narrow (citation TBA).
            2. MEYYXD:Women & some men take note here as you often don’t do this
          2. M3UCLU:And dating sites should not display & separate-by their users numerical age,
            1. MEYZQJ:At least for any person qualified and proven not to improperly discriminate by numerical age, which is almost everyone due to the reasons mentioned.
            2. M3UCMU:but unfortunately nearly all do, and by force; even OkCupidis no exception.
              1. MCFPCI:So just use the workaround given here by Instructions!
    2. M3KELT: Instructions:

      1. M3UCQ6: when completing profile or form asking for your actual numerical age where instead apparent age (or no numerical age) would be appropriate, do all of:
        1. M3UCSP:give your apparent age instead your actual age age
        2. M3UCSV: in a text field of the form as close as possible to this number else in a relevant prominent field (as in “The most private thing I’m willing to admit” on, insert the paragraph (the title including its enclosing quotes so it’s clear it is a quote).
  2. M3KF4W:Motivations (from roughly greatest-to-least):

    1. M3UCW8:Pretty much already explained in M3UC3L.

    2. M3KGHX:Why commonly not done?

      1. M3UCVF: No obvious obstacles other than this was just originated.

  3. M33Z0T:Additional post history, in order:

    1. M3UBH9I create this
      1. M3KNZ6: Why?
        1. M3KO0E: before
          1. M3KOP0: instead of this, what was done
            1. M3KNT3: was (when completing a profile), I had inserted some words to explain, but this got kind of verbose
            2. M3KO83: lacked benefits M3KOD8
            3. M3KOSW: reached my limit when
              1. M3KO9A: I was completing
      2. M3KNXM: by:
        1. M37OOV: on (the most similar recent one= latest version M3KQ79, do Copy to a new draft
        2. M37OP0: then there: created this entry, give this a new ID, then updated content to fit.
    2. M3UCAG: Initial under construction version where M3UC3 is the original text from the web form
    3. M3UDXJ: M3UC3 I now formatted to be in real outline plus some additions.
    4. M3UE2S: Now have a fairly usable, releasable version, so 1st publish.
    5. MCFPER:: MCFPCI: added; update to present format: the easy updates.
    6. MEZZXF:About to refer Joy to this article, do significant clarifications & add further justifications for M3UCGX; more could be done; pst2012.12.13thu1843.

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