May 172012
 
 Posted by on UTC 2012.05.17Thu at 14:01 OkCupid M3ZRE7  Add comments

M46QHI please comment here! -simply create an account if you don’t yet have one; the version ID of this post is the ID of the last entry of its history.

  1. M33YGV: Title: OkCupid question “Are you ready to settle down and get married right now?”

  2. M33YH4: URL:http://1.JotHere.com/3151#M3ZQ9B
  3. M3KEH0: Definition

    1. M3F95S: The title & its URLs provide a very compact & complete summary.

    2. M46QLM: quote(

      Are you ready to settle down and get married right now?

      Answers I’ll accept…This question is… 

      Irrelevant

      )

  4. M3KF4W: Motivations (from roughly greatest-to-least):

    1. .
  5. M33Z0T: Additional post history, in order:

    1.   M46QHK: I  create this
      1. M3KNZ6: Why?
        1. M3KO0E: before
          1. M3KOP0: instead of this, what was done
            1. M46QQM: I was answering this question
            2. M3KOSW: reached my limit when
              1. M46QR8: sc_girl123 emailed me “the ones that I skipped, I skipped because I didn’t like any of the options that were given as possible answers.” which made me think of this question, that that was a better approach here
              2. M46QUC: Choosing “Skip” looked like a I would loose my explanation so I needed a place to save it.
      2. M3KNXM: by:
        1. M37OOV: on (the most similar recent one=http://1.JotHere.com/3151#M3ZQ9B) latest version M3ZRC2, do Copy to a new draft
        2. M37OP0: then there: created this entry, give this a new ID, then updated content to fit.
    2. M46R24: Now have a fairly usable, releasable version ready to be commented on, so 1st publish).
    3. M46R44: Fixed some small mistakes.

  4 Responses to “OkCupid question “Are you ready to settle down and get married right now?””

  1. Response by

      • My present reply:
        quote(Are you ready to settle down and get married right now?
        Absolutely.
        **No way.
        Get married yes, settle down no.
        Get married no, settle down yes.

        Answers I’ll accept…
        Absolutely.
        No way.
        Get married yes, settle down no.
        Get married no, settle down yes.

        This question is…
        **Irrelevant
        A little important
        Somewhat important
        Very important
        Mandatory
        Answer this question privately.
        Explain your answer (optional)

        DOES MY ANSWER NOT MATCH YOURS HERE? AND/OR DOES IT APPEAR IN RED (because you’ve graded me down)? Then there’s a fair chance you gave the wrong answer here (as to what you prefer and what you’d accept). Read my explanation here –I doubt this has already all occurred to you — and then consider updating your answer to match else add explanation to your answer why you you hold your position despite of this.

        The short is: I AM OF THIS MINDSET, AND HAVE BEEN FOR MANY YEARS, BUT, to the careful reader, THE QUESTION IS WORDED OFFENSIVELY, so “No way.” *to that wording*.

        The question as worded is offensive in its assumptions on both parts “settle down” and “get married”; moreover these should be separate questions.

        Plus it doesn’t give the answer I really mean. “No way.” is technically the closest answer, but my real answer would be No to both would be my 1st preference, though I am still open to getting married if need be.

        And here is the breakdown for each part of the question:

        *”are you ready to settle down”?! -don’t presume I’m not settled down or I ever was NOT settled down. I don’t need to settle down as I was never unsettled to begin with! Other people may have had unsettled beginnings of their romance life (and presumably ones they could just turn off when the decided), but NEVER me. I’VE ALWAYS BEEN SETTLED & VERY STABLE in romance.

        *And I AM TOTALLY IN SUPPORT OF VERY DEDICATED IDEALLY-LIFETIME ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS WHEREVER POSSIBLE, BUT IDEALLY *NOT* VIA TODAY’S MARRIAGE but via a stronger and cleaner and less-prejudiced romance contract, including one I have found (contact me and I’ll show you) which which makes the romance agreements of a *typical* marriage look adolescent in comparison. While increasing people just say live together without marriage (or just forget long term-romance), that’s just throwing-the-baby-out-with-the-bad-bathwater; instead I’m replacing-else-augmenting outdated marriage with something much stronger and appropriate for present times.
        Yes still I am open to marriage but (as is increasingly thought) I have doubts about the institution in that it:
        (1) tries to make romance binary (the best romance is based on friendship, and friendship is NOT binary) and
        (2) can only be between a man-and-a-woman (not same-sex) in most states (the best romance is based on friendship, and friendship can be with either sex, and ideally is with both) and
        (3) one can only have one marriage at a time (in contrast, one can have multiple friends, and it’s not healthy when one doesn’t -and again remember the best romance is based on friendship).
        A dramatic improvement on marriage would be to make it more adaptable to the real needs of today:
        (1) would allow any two adults to be married (regardless of sex) and
        (2) would allow any adult (regardless of sex) to be involved in multiple such marriages at the same time (a notable advantage here is that one could then marry someone new without first divorcing who they’re with. Among other benefits, it would especially be respecting of the kids of a marriage (instead of why divorce is often done despite of the pain to the kids: to effectively pave the way so the parent(s) can get a better romance partner): kids don’t mind it so much if their original parents get more marriages (indeed if very young,, they may not even understand sex), indeed this is overall good for the kids as then they get additional parents to pay attention to and care for them; but kids DO mind it when their original parents divorce making the kid feel s/he is a bastard kid of now broken parents.

        )

      • This question has too many problems; answering “Absolutely” gives the right impression but it not technically correct. Answering it “No way” is the reverse. And it’s important. So considerL
        *select ” Answer this question privately.” but http://www.okcupid.com/help/match-questions suggests it will still be used in scoring, which I don’t want.
        *select “Skip” -yes, do this.