Jul 242012
 Posted by on UTC 2012.07.24Tue at 00:50 OkCupid M3ZRE7, SaberPen M7LS46  Add comments

M7NMFL:SaberPen‘s PROBLEMS relevant to friends & romances: mostly hurt him, not them http://1.JotHere.com/3420#M7NMFL

  1. M31R7G: Definition

    1. M6X45Y: What? See the title

    2. M7NQBK:NOT your typical problems, notably problems which generally hurt me, not others
      1. M7NQCA:Unlike most people, by design, I virtually never disrespect and act-irresponsibility-to other individuals (including no: abuse, failure to keep promises, displace hurt, require mind-reading, etc)
      2. M7NQCS:Unlike many people, I virtually never have addictions (drugs, gambling, bullying, promiscuity&womanizing, etc)
      3. M7NQDU:BUT I DO have problems, just not the typical ones:
    3. M7NQEJ:Because I get lonely, I barely function being alone, including living alone. 
      1. M7RB1I:Indeed every day I don’t come home to someone special, especially a romance, is a day I don’t feel I fully lived and instead accrued emotional debit which, after a few years, becomes a killer burden.
      2. M7NQFL:Most humans feel this to some degree, including a few I guess to this degree; and this can be seen as terribly sweet. However:
      3. M7NQG0:This is in regular conflict with my highest priority, “Do right always, regardless .. indeed even if I’m the only one doing it and it scares away all friends and it kills me”
        1. M7NQGM:In “doing right regardless”, I end up often making myself very alone, and then my loneliness really hurts my ability to continue producing or just continue to live at all; still that’s what I’ll do.
    4. M7NQH9:Romantically, I’m very picky, notably in 2 ways (the 1st bad, the 2nd good):
      1. M7NQI7:BAD: I seem to be genetically-wired to be romantically turned-on ONLY by women of particular physical looks which are very hard to find and match:
        1. M7NQIP:not significantly wider than me (I’m ~37in waist, so then no larger than ~43in waist)
          1. M7RBHH: seemingly most men demand this or more (at least if they are going to be truly respectful of the woman (as in proud to be seen with her and NOT using her for booty-call), which is the only way I roll)
        2. M7NQJ8:must have certain exotic eyes, especially cultural-East Asian eyes –I’m a total eye-guy, so I have no choice here (like being gay); without certain unique eyes, “the equipment” won’t turn on (or probably won’t stay on); but with them, well my passion can be all the pleasure she can take!
        3. M7NQJO:of certain ethnicity (preferred in this order): cultural-East Asian, other Asian, Hispanic/Latin, Black, Indian, Middle-Eastern, and, very last, my-own-race, White=Caucasian.
          1. M7NQK6:Mixed race? Just average the ingredients. For instance, E.Asian (typically very top) plus Caucasian (typically bottom) is typically half-way, which is usually a No (unless face is pure E.Asian but body is nice busty Caucasian, but that’s very rare).
        4. M7RBX1:Typically foreign-raised (at least to teenage years), not American-raised.
          1. M7RC00: Foreign-raised I tend to feel more comfortable with as they seem to better accept me just as I am.
          2. M7RC7Z:American-raised seem to notice I’m not typical American in some of me subtle gestures & accent so don’t seem to accept me as well and even though these differences should be insignificant. Many American-raised people have felt or been-certain that I was foreign raised based on my accent & gestures, but I’m entirely American raised and don’t know how nor why I’m different in these ways, but they often seem to be sure I was foreign-raised sometimes despite telling the otherwise.
        5. M7NQKK:a huge plus for sensitive and/or big nipples –for, well, as a geek, I LOVE to “press buttons” (and give buttons much love & attention 🙂
          1. M7RCHO:And (a little know observation, while cultural-East Asian tend to have the smallest breasts, they also seem to have the largest&most-sensitive nipples, and I adore that!
        6. M7NQLY:but in all other ways I like a gal who is often NOT your typical E.Asian, including one:
          1. M7NR1C:strong & independent & assertive, definitely not submissive
          2. M7NR1Q:ideally busty, as B to D cup (like my mother & sister; hey, I’ve got reasonably-sized “junk”, so why can’t I get a reasonably-sized bust?)
          3. M7NR1W:ideally tall but I’m quite flexible here, indeed more flexible than many guys
        7. M7NR22:This apparent-genetic wiring of mine
          1. M7NR27:is VERY ROUGH ON ME (worse than being gay; including most people, including most E. Asians, are typically only seriously romantic with their own race, and heavily network often mostly with their own race, but my own race I romantically prefer the least –eeks!). Typically I end up dating women who also like me don’t and perhaps never date their own race, but that’s rare times rare=extremely rare!
      2. M7NR34:STRESSFUL BUT EXCELLENT: In romance, I offer & insist-on true deep dedicated friendship with full honesty & realism.
        1. M7NR3N:but in romance (where as “all is fair in love & war” and the broken family has now long become the norm), these aspirations are typically expected-to-be impossible (by at least most mature men for at least women), so instead the only option in romance expected-to-be “cheating” or at least not being fully honest & upfront.
          1. M7NR3T:Indeed thousands of years of civilization have have shown this.
          2. M7NR3Y:indeed biological logic shows it, too, indeed sociobiologywas founded because of it:  males and females are genetically wired to think dramatically differently in romance & sex, plus (except notably for bonobos) are sexes are wired full of romantic-jealousy, the leading romantic anti-love
            1. M7NR46:BUT I refuse to settle for that, that not-full & often-fake love
        2. M7NR4D:Ever heard the phrase & common-behavior “There are certain (true) things you never tell a woman, most especially in romance.”? Well if followed, then we will never have true honesty with women so equality & empowerment for women (recall my value “maximum empowerment”). So, by my value “do right always, regardless”, I am huge “violator” of this rule.
        3. M7NR4L:A notable example, I insist my romance partner (a woman) be able to face & talk about & deal with any serious problems we have. But my romance (a woman) NOT being able to do this:
          1. M7NR4R:has been what has ended most every romance I’ve had, including my every romance leading to marriage (except my 1st one).
          2. M7NR53:frequently also even keeps my romances from even starting. Notable example: in first approaching someone for romance, I generally insist on bringing up relevant serious problems I see. For instance, in approaching a woman on OkCupid for romance, I generally insist on saying say “And where [our answers] don’t match it seems you mostly just haven’t yet fully thought of the question.” –when this is true, which it pretty-much always is, the motivation of my $5 challenge below.
            1. M7NR5K:This is very relevant since our match rating % is mistakenly lessened and often significantly to where this good match would be missed (and instead the woman would match men who lie on their answers in order to fake matches with women)
            2. M7NR5Q:But saying this has NEVER generated a positive response, specifically:
              1. M7NR67:The only time I got a positive response is when I didn’t use it,
                1. M7NR6A:Whenever I did use it, I got 0 reply except for in 1 case (from sc_girl123, where OkCupid correctly ranked us a high match) and then ~90% of her reply was mistakenly arguing this point and so mis-concluding we weren’t a match, leading to much more argument including she still has yet to see & correct her mistakes.
      3. M7NR6Q:I often fail to remember & get around to caring for myself, including:
        1. M7NR6Z:mono-focused
        2. M7NR72:loose track of time, especially under-estimating time (including I’ve sometimes been late to the very meeting or class I’m hosting)
        3. M7NR7A:Workaholic
        4. M7NR7G:Fail to promptly bill my clients
        5. M7NR7M:typically get screwed by monthly auto-payment
        6. M7NR7V:forget my aesthetic needs
        7. M7NR7Z:I often end up taking care of others and so not taking care of myself
      4. M7NR8F:I’m VERY picky on dancing I’ll do
        1. M7NR8J:on dance music (I like 80s & New Wave & Euro-dance) and
        2. M7NR8T:on dance styles (only hustle ballroom-dance and break dancing)
        3. M7NR90:But venues featuring these are hard to find (though slowly getting better)
  2. M31REF: Comparison to alternates, from most to least similar:

    1. M31V8H:No other similar known
  3. M31R7R: Some Additional document history, in order:

    1. M7NMHW:I create this
      1. M3KNZ6: Why?  Before, instead was:
        1. M7NMKW:Was storing this as the largest portion of http://www.okcupid.com/profile/SaberPen#essay_0
        2. M3KOSW: reached my limit when
          1. M7NML4:Was making that container too big & overwhelming.
      2. M3KNXM: by:
        1. M37OOV: on (the most similar recent one=http://1.JotHere.com/3415#M7LQO1) latest version M7ND14, do Copy to a new draft M37OP0: then there: give this a new ID & updated content to fit.
    2. M7NMWF: now published: Version 1 of this, simply a move of the text from the prior source on OKCupid to quotation M7NMOU
    3. M7NRB8:Broke & removed quotation M7NMOU into individual IDed paragraphs (but still no change in contents, including kept “*” indent).
    4. M7RCIW:Updated title to q(SaberPen‘s PROBLEMS relevant to friends & romances: mostly hurt him, not them), removed the “*” intend, added some bolding, cleaned up some of the phrasings, fully removed quotation M7NMOU
    5. TBA Started and now finished a full pass rewriting the passage to be quite a bit clearer.