Oct 282012
 
 Posted by on UTC 2012.10.28Sun at 19:50 of dating MCIODJ, pattern flaw|bug LGB4B3  Add comments
MCINQO:a woman disrespectfully-not-following-thru (as flaking) on a guy before-else-on their 1st date http://1.JotHere.com/3690#MCINQO

MAZBVC:THIS POST

  1. MAYCNN:is being updated daily so load/refresh it often! ID of last item is version ID.
  2. M87XAJ:All key details are in BOLD with most-essential & -timely first.
  3. MAZBWQ:SUBSECTIONS: WHAT, WHY, WHEN & WHERE, WHO,COST, PREVENTION & CURE, ADDITIONAL POST HISTORY.

MAXFOC:WHAT

  1. MCIQQK:1st a guy has & shows a gal romantic interest in her (else the reverse, though that’s way too rare).
    1. MCIQVY:Provided the display of interest isn’t careless nor meant to disrespect, this interest should always be taken as a compliment
      1. MCKUDZ:and ~95% of women (over say 17) seem to get this.
  2. MCIQFB:2nd the gal then encourages-else-allows the guy to get excited about meeting her for a date, promising-else-to-some-degree-suggesting that she & he later privately hang out in-person for something potentially romantic between them, including she definitely does NOT say nor suggest this would be NOT for romance.
  3. MCIQMM:3rd, she then instead hurts him; specifically w/o suggesting she will, she does something to keep from any such meetings from ever happening else, in rare cases, from going well.
    1. MCIR24:typically she does 1 (or sometimes more) of the following:
      1. MCIR2T:gives out a fake contacts for her, as a fake # and/or email.
        1. MCIR3S:this lie seems to have gone out of fashion
          1. MCIR6C:once it became fairly easy to & often was immediately caught: when it became common for most people to each carry a cell phone (& especially a smartphone which can also send email), because then the guy would frequently immediately call the # (else send to the email) to see it  was good & received on the gal’s phone.
      2. MCIRBC:gives out out her real phone # & email but doesn’t answer calls & messages from people she doesn’t know, and doesn’t check her voicemail.
        1. MCIRE8:This mislead is still in common use, but not the largest & the use seems to be decreasing, probably because she sooner or later sees:
        2. MCIROG:This mislead also causes her to miss important calls & messages (as say employer calling back to offer her the job)
      3. MCIRHD:Gives out her real phone # and will answer unknown calls else check vmail & vmail, and will listen-to/read the message (and if a phone call, will often act interested & even make further plans), but then then afterwards, and without ever warning nor saying, will save his # under say “DNA” (for “Do-Not-Answer”) and/or block else leave-unread his email & messages.
        1. MCIRRZ:This worse mislead is in wide-spread use today.
          1. MCIU9D:My latest possible example is Denise W.
        2. MCIUBU:Of course making it nastier, the guy never knows for sure if this was done to him, just that, for reason never explained, he never gets any replies & answers anymore.
        3. MCIRFB:To prevent this plus the prior mislead, a guy must not only call the gal’s phone # on the spot & verify it rings, but also right-after save his name in her phone’s address book (else insure she does this on the spot) so she won’t later save it under “DNA”.
          1. MCIRVF:Moreover it seems now many young women indeed expect a guy to do this (to save her from so disrespecting him as she feels entitled), so if he doesn’t do it, they then react “We’ll he doesn’t know `the game’ and how to respect me” so then feel entitled to save his phone # under “DNA””.
      4. MCIS29:Gives out her real phone # and/or email but and will reply to him (though perhaps only if he saved his name in her contacts), and in the messages and calls-if=any she will talk more and suggest more they meet (building up his hopes notably higher), but then, often repeatedly, will do one or more of the following:
        1. MCISC6:Not finish the final plans to meet (as the exact day or location) -as just stop responding at that point or “ask me later on __” then won’t answer & reply then.
          1. MCITWZ:Extremely & increasingly common
            1. MCIUJ9: especially if the guy can only message her, either because he doesn’t have her phone # or (does have her phone # but she insists she only accepts texts, not calls, as is increasingly common)
            2. MCIU62:My latest example is Denise W.
        2. MCISEZ:Set up the plans to meet (or else most of them)
          1. MCISVX:but then cancel a few hours before, for some emergency or other plan (that typically has to be handled now, so no time to reschedule) and do not reschedule.
            1. MCITTB:this is extremely & increasingly common
              1. MCIU2Q:My latest apparent example is Lauren who then inspired the creation of this post.
          2. MCISI6:but then does not show & not be reachable at that time.
            1. MCISK3:seemingly increasingly with the excuse that “Of course I wouldn’t be expect to show unless I agreed to it at least 3 times, including once on the day of” (this is a near exact quote!)
            2. MCITUF:this is extremely & increasingly common
            3. MCM20M:Jessa’s date faking. A fictional but seemingly-typical example of this popular new urban mis-behavior is given by “Jessa sends taunting messages [to have a guy join her at a party where she actually intends not to findable so to waste his whole evening]” in episode 7 of Season 1 of Girls -see Girls.
          1. MCISSJ:and meet at the designated time & place
            1. MCISZW:but 1 or more of (though all seeming fairly rare)
              1. MCIT4G:not come rested and/or distracted doing other errands & plans
                1. MCIT71:But with me I’ve only seen this 1x out of 100s (with Alice).
              2. MCIT97:Not give the date enough time (at least as 1 or 2 hours) by 1 or more of
                1. MCITBU:Not scheduling enough time
                  1. MCITCU:But with me I’ve only seen this 1x out of 100s (with Alice)
                2. MCISXK: end the outing prematurely as:
                  1. MCITDX:right after she got her dinner or drinks bought for her
                    1. MCITEP:But with me I’ve only seen this 1x out of 100s (with Ressonya) (plus fairly commonly with new gals bought drinks at bars, but that’s a 1st contact already)
                  2. MCITH2:after overreacting to some sensitive subject
                    1. MCITOP:But with me I’ve only seen this 1x out of 100s (Hiromi)
            2. MCITY1:Usually though the date goes fine by this point else if there problems they seem to be from other sources.
    2. MCM2KG:and does she feel bad about her doing this? It seems virtually never (0 out of ~200)
      1. MCM2J8:It seems she really doesn’t feel bad about this because she will become unreachable or if she is reachable,  may “sorry” and vaguely specify “another time”, but she generally will not say “I’ll make it up to you” and most definitely will not reschedule (or if she does reschedule, will again messed it up) and if asked to reschedule, she will generally reply with or give excuse for “have to go now” or not reply and become unreachable.

MCM25E:WHY

  1. MCIUX5:Why does she do this? One or more of the following:
    1. MCIUY6:To deliberately hurt the guy even though she knows that would be wrong: seems often.
      1. MCIUZG:probably because she is angry at how past guys treated her
        1. MCKK25:as from some combo of:
          1. MCKK2U:guys first doing similar dis’ing to her per our increasingly socially-disposable society
          2.  MCKK41:especially the usual tragedy (wired into men & women) in  where most men have to hide have to hide & lie about themselves romantically in order to be romantically acceptable by women
        2. MCKJYQ:so want to punish men by hurting this next guy even though she knows he has nothing to do with her past guys so wouldn’t deserve any hurt.
      2. MCIV2K:The 20s & 30s gals I’ve gotten to talk about this (only ~2 of 5) have universally said being cruel is why they do it, and it’s a custom among them, though none have yet said told me why they want to hurt guys.
      3. MCM3KE:example: Jessa’s date faking.
    2. MCM450:Because the promises she makes with guys (perspective mates), and sometimes with her friends she undervalues (as called “promises” but treated as just “options”: seems often.
      1. MCM4C2:Why?
        1. MCM4D0:Logically
          1. MCIXSZ:Due to our increasingly socially-disposable societyespecially from new Facebook customs –both important reading to understand this.
            1. MCJ6JG:where friends are just a mailing list, and real-world dis’ing a friend (as flaking) now becomes as easily as blocking a “Friend” on Facebook.
            2. MCM4GL:where services Facebook & especially dating sites appear to give at one’s fingertips literally hundreds of people to choose from from.
            3. MCM4J4:where services as Meetup.com give not just 1 thing to do on any particular evening or day, and seemingly with friends, but several competing things to do.
        2. MCM4L5:Emperically
          1. MCM4NI:~”(without saying so), women today view dates” or seemingly any other agreement to socially meet “as not promises but options, just one of a few things they MAY do at that time” says SoCal PUA’s 2012.08.08 “Phone Game – Getting the digits, the date and flake prevention!” (which is part of a series & very well prepared & seemingly well researched).
    3. MCIVBN:Because she overlooks as forgets the promises she makes with guys, and sometimes with her friends: sometimes.
      1. MCM352:for some legitimate reason? Almost never & increasingly less.
        1. MCM2RM:There is no (& increasingly) legit excuse for this because, due to technology, about 95% of the American adults seem to own a smartphone, so have instant continual access:
          1. MCM2UI:to their phone line, missed calls, & vmail, so no excuse “I didn’t get the call” or “couldn’t get to a phone”
          2. MCM2WX:to read & reply to their email so virtually no excuse (besides some spam) that “I didn’t get your email”
          3. MCM2Y8:to their calendar, which can remind them, so no good excuse that they forgot
      2. MCM32I: wrongfully as carelessly? Almost always.
      3. MCIXRP:This is increasingly possible so apparently done.
    4. MCIV9N:Because she hasn’t learned how to say “No”.
      1. MCIVE6:I understand this used to be popular reason in the days before the independent liberated woman and before when sexual harassment claims were taken seriously, but today this seems fairly rare, unless dealing with say an immature girl under say 18.
    5. MCIXG3:Because the guy was pushy asking her out, so she wants to hurt him
      1. MCIXJF:This makes some but hurtful sense for a woman who hasn’t learned to say “No”, but the latter seems increasingly rarely the case, so then there seems no reason for a woman to trouble herself if the guy is pushy if she can so much more easily then just say “No” and perhaps tell him of or report him, all which she increasingly can & does do in these situations.

MCM2AJ:WHEN & WHERE

  1. MCIVM3:When does she do this?
    1. MCIVNO:“iff=if and only if” the wrong she does here can’t directly get back to hurt her AND her overall dating environment is not happy: yes, then
      1. MCMLDW: specifically,
        1. MCIVO1:If there was no way for the wrong she does here to directly get back to hurt her, I’ve NEVER seen this done (at least none of these disrespects before the 1st date, which are ~99% of the cases)
        2. MCIVZA:However, if there is no way for the wrong to she does here to directly directly get back to hurt her AND the overall dating environment is not happy, then I see not just some or a few women doing it, but ~95%!
      2.  MCMLGQ: It’s taken me a long time to seriously consider this option, because the implication is not pretty:
        1. MCMLHT:Any typical adult human (at least in America today) will mostly only do the right, unselfish thing if that’s the easiest-else-near-easiest way else only if they see more harm to them by all other ways.
          1. MCMLQJ:It hurts me to even write that possibility, as certainly always I’ve strived to & overall done “Do the right thing always regardless” and assumed most everyone did the same. But
          2. MCMLUC: It strongly appears at least here, it’s true, and may be true for all human history.
      3. MCMM39:Consequently,
        1. MCMM86:the problem will be overall least in small communities (as small towns) where generally everyone knows each other and word gets round, and worst in big sprawling urban suburbs and where neighbors keep to themselves where you typically have to go out of your way to meet someone again.
          1. MCMM9S:data MCMMDA & especially MCMF3Z supports this.
        2. MCMMKW:If there was a social network which insured promises where public or word of breaking them gets out, that would then drastically reduce this problem.
          1.   MCMMMY:Could Facebook be such an environment?
            1. MCMN00:Overall: maybe, but I don’t know, especially not being on Facebook, but to be researched.
            2. MCMMNK:It certainly appears to be for steady romance relationships.  But,
            3. MCMMRQ:This is promises of 1st meeting, and perhaps 2nd meeting.
              1. MCMMUG:For 1-on-1 meetings, Facebook has no attendance-keeping on that (that I’ve heard of)
              2. MCMMW4:And, from what my sister’s told me, posting anything negative about someone on a person’s “wall” where their friends would be alerted of it,would be considered taboo or near-taboo so not done.
              3. MCMN39:But perhaps, just as the case in real life, if we have a common set of friends, then the word about 1’s bad behavior could get to them, so then 1 is probably much more likely not to do it.
                1. MCMN5Z:And Facebook could (and does?) make it very clear what common friends you may share, thus notably discouraging such misbehavior when such commonality.
            4. MCMNAN:As counter-evidence, it feels like the PUA leaders & members are mostly on Facebook, yet they still tell of horrible flake rates.
  2. MCMMDA:In my 2011.09 family reunion in Maui, on scuba diving tourist trip, I met a couple handsome white guys in their 20s from a small midwest town where everyone knew each other.  I asked  them if the experienced this problem, guessing they wouldn’t. Sure enough, they said didn’t, and found the stories of California dating shocking.
  3. MCM59Y:Girls. In 2012, top cable TV network show creator HBO introduced the hot, entertaining, & quite well-produced television series Girls (fictional), which is all about showing the bad romance and other social behavior of 5 typical present-day girls in their late 20s & early 30s in New York City. Indeed it is written by one of them (a 26 year old I recall), apparently based on her similar life experiences.
    1. MCM5MJ:example: Jessa’s date faking.
  4.  MCMEZ1:At 1 of the about 7 SoCal PUA meetings I attended, SoCal PUA’s 2012.08.08 “Phone Game – Getting the digits, the date and flake prevention!” (which is part of a series & very well prepared & seemingly well researched),  the leaders (Eddie & Rick, both well schooled & experienced in the matter) made interesting & seemingly true claims.
    1. MCMF3Z:Eddie said the  small down in Ohio where he grew up, he caught (as was able to have sex with) many women even in high school, being natural at it. And even if there seemed no way to hold her responsible, a woman flaking on a date was almost unheard of, at about 5%. When he came to SoCal a few years ago, that % went to ~90%.  And despite his best efforts (which are notable) including these techniques, it’s now at ~80%, possibly one of the reasons he now just tries to get sexual on the 1st meeting (because there likely may not be another as she can’t keep a promise).
    2. MCMFFJ:This this area, SoCal, the problem is the worst in the country.
    3. MCMGF1:The majority of this serious presentation & meeting to about 15 local guys was on this on this issue, notably “flake prevention”, so showing it’s a serious problem.
  5. MCMDTY: “Do women flake out on you on dates and not return your calls & messages?” Until many guys are complaining about this, this was & still is  not an easy thing for me nor any guy to admit to experiencing
    1. MCME55:as the typical reaction is has been very wrong: “No, you must have done something for her to not return your calls or skip out on you and treat you so bad, as women would never do this; guys are the ones who do bad. You must be pushing them or stalking them or scaring them.”
  6. MCM94S:My Destiny‘s own personal experience: this, more than anything else, ruined my dating life. In chronological order:

    1. MCMALP:For all my prior dating life (well over 10 years),  it was reasonably successful, meaning:
      1. MCMCPL:I would get rejections like any other guy, but once a gal said yes, even if there seemed no way to hold her responsible, she’d ~95% give valid contacts and ~80% she’d respond and we’d go on a date.
      2. MCMBBP:Indeed my success getting dates & romance got steadily better as I became more skilled at finding & interesting women.
      3. MCMCJJ:Most of the time I had a steady romance, or was going on dates, or (with her permission), doing both.
    2. MCMB21:But starting about 2005 fall, I found number of gals, indeed around 25%, would do this (notably promise a date a date for me wouldn’t follow-thru on)
    3. MCMB3E:So 2006.03.3 I registered RudeDate.com, to set up a website to to the public the ones I was experiencing the ones others were experiencing, with idea that a bad reputation there would prevent gals (or guys) from doing this.
      1. MCMB5B:I didn’t build the site because of the technical complexity to make the site fair (notably prevent fake reporting from causing damage) seemed significant & notably greater than the apparent income potential. But
      2. MCMB9O:The fact I went to the trouble come up with the idea & name indeed documents that the problem was serious.
    4. MCMBDO:And this problem steadily worsened.
    5. MCMEH1:~2008 I asked Young Nak, a large Korean Church I had been attending and donating too (who welcomed non-Asians, even had one pastor who was white) to help me deal with just 1 of these incidents: a Korean gal who repeatedly me she wanted to go out then stood me up on the actual date and wouldn’t talk to me. The church flatly refused, saying it was not their job to sort out dating.
    6. MCMDR0:~2009, I did an SMS survey I did asking ~7 single & dating guys I knew, most reported this was a serious & increasing problem.
    7. MCME3T:it got to the point I gave up going to local Asian dance clubs, even though they were packed with the often-rare type of gal which is physically my type, where each time 1 to 3 would say they wanted to out with me & give me their valid contacts) as after getting the contacts & then SMSing (the only way they would talk) about ~25 hot gals who all had suggested they wanted to date me, 0 would follow thru!, and even though I had made myself a promoter of these clubs (and a club promoter seems generally expected to get-for-dating many women, a benefit of the job), so a job I similarly quit (it also didn’t actually pay anything unless you were well connected, and I wasn’t Vietnamese-enough).
      1. MCMBV0:I warned my members & the public with my 2010.11.07 post: “Today’s danceclubs appear to be very negative ROI for nice single guys: I & other mbrs get girls cell#s for dating but >90% gals never actually go out, just waste ur time SMSing em back&forth” which I referenced via every club outing announcement (still doing, as this one 2012.11.02)
      2. MCMC1V: Yes this was a mostly-Asian scene but I was known there, including for working there as a promoter.
      3. MCMC59:Yes this is a club scene (actually one of the hardest places to actually pick up women) but I still was to get 1 or 2 gals every visit giving me their verified contact(s) saying they wanted to date me, so I don’t think that was the main problem, but since there was a problem, I moved on.
    8. MCMCA6:However, even outside the clubs, doing “Day Game” (one of the best ways for a guy to find dates), the rate of gals  falsely promising so notably wasting my time if there seemed no way to hold her responsible, continued to be about 95% though early 2011.
      1. MCMD32:Yes, if there was a way that such flaking & dis’ing could get back to her, she wouldn’t do it, but it was hard to get such introductions (with me always virtually-only attracted to women outside my own race and having few local friends (including boycotting Facebook for the risk they place the world’s personal info at) plus no nearby family to help me here and few women in my career (programming)).
    9. MCMDF2: So then (early 2011), with this terrible negative ROI, I pretty much gave up going out to search for  women to date, reducing that activity by ~90% (as only when it’s part of a business or other outing and can be made appropriate –so very little) –but that’s what I & most other healthy guys must do to find romance! (“It happens when you’re not looking” is for most women, not most men!)
    10. MCMEOU:2011.08~ at Radio Shack of 92604(Irvine) I was buying a Sanyo VPC-CG20 from, the 3 men working there (all 20s, 1 black, one 1 white, and (as I recall) 1 Hispanic) all said this problem is rampant with the women they date, that the flake rate is around 75%+/-20%.

MCIOTR:WHO

  1. TBA

MAX1VD:COST

  1. MCMO4U:The immediate pro is to the woman: the woman doesn’t need to say anything unpleasant while still, if she desires to, inflicting significant pain on the guy (about 40x greater than if she had just rejected him at the start), even if doesn’t deserve it (which here he usually doesn’t) and with no way for her wrongdoing to get back her (enabling her to do it),
  2. MCMOGD:The immediate cost is to the guy, and even worse:
    1. MCMOXM:his hopes for her are let down
    2. MCMOYA:As guys increasingly know this trick, they justifiably feel dup’d.
    3. MCMPK0:all the investment in her is wasted, which realistically is probably an average of ~5 hours of his time:
      1. MCMPKC:Going to various venues to find a mate
      2. MCMPKT:Getting the nerve up & creating the situation to talk with her
      3. MCMPML:Learning about her to both sell himself & care about her
      4. MCMPNF:Entering her contacts in his addressbook, and also today saving his into hers.
      5. MCMPYK:typically giving up going after other possible mates there at the time (including as of course she would be jealous).
        1. MCMQ2E:Indeed often time the whole point of his night (or whatever the outing was where they 1st met) was to meet an attractive gal and get her interest & contacts so to get a date– so if it turns out she doesn’t meet up with him as she’s promised, so actually give their romance a chance, then typically his whole outing is lost (he’ll have to start over and do another outing), so, as well as loosing any dates, he also often looses some or all of the payoff of the outing where they 1st met.
      6. MCMPT8:Making notes (as in his contacts) about her so he can remember what she said & they talked about (as she requires he remember as if effortlessly, but he actually has usually dozens of women to learn about & ask out and get rejected by before he finds just 1 romance)
      7. MCMPWD:figuring out clever stuff to call our text or email with the initial times he contacts her.
      8. MCMQ7O:figuring out a time & place & activity for them to do 1st time, and getting her to agree with it.
      9. MCMQ8P:Clearing his schedule at that time so he can be with her.
      10. MCMQ9U:As women seem to increasingly requires, contacting her a few times, as daily, to delicately remind her & get continual agreement of the outing.
      11. MCMQCJ:Getting dressed & ready for the date.
      12. MCMQCZ:driving/traveling there (if she hasn’t already canceled)
      13. MCMQEL:to find her not there her not there, or getting her cancellation message, to then try to reach her and find out why, where often she won’t reply, and then try to reschedule, which she won’t do.
    4. MCMQJD:so he’s also wrongfully made to feel a failure & rejected,
    5. MCMQJW:and with no recourse.
  3. MCMKMT: The cost is captured in the leading fix, Accept & adapt -see that.
  4.  still notable inflicting harm if she desires to ,
  5. MCMKL9:The long-term cost is creation of a dating nightmare,
    1. MCMKXR:which celebrates lack of keeping social promises, at least on meeting people and being there when they expect you.
    2. MCML0M:Where “hook up”s are just semi-random, frequent, typically short lived.
    3. MCML24:Indeed “hook up” IS now a popular term for dating, as the dating & a relationship  is heavily sex, indeed just-sex is often preferred, where (to use the common vernacular  “there IS no relationship” -(No relationship? That means no connection!)
  6. MCMKWV:The cost is part of overall cost found in human’s increasing socially-disposable society.
  7. MCML5H:In my opinion, the long-term cost is absolutely unacceptable.

MCJIGK:PREVENTION & CURE

  1. MCMJEW: Accept, play along, & adapt -entirely NOT recommend, especially not long term

    1. MCMKP0: Horrifyingly in my opinion, this seems to be the popular fix, indeed, besides those I’ve come up with, it’s the only fix I’ve ever heard.
    2. MCMNNF:Notable (short-term) Pro: you don’t have to fix anything, especially important when fixing is extremely hard,  including virtually impossible in the short-term, in the places where it almost-always occurs (if there seemed no way to hold her responsible, so most-always (unless that’s incorrect) you have no authority nor connection to authority over this person (at least in the present & likely only situation with this person)
    3. MCMFXW:And this is the fix given by SoCal PUA: effectively accept & adapt not even keeping most social promises:
      1. MCMJW5:specifically these 3 rules:
        1. MCMG1S:One trying to date a woman should use subliminal manipulation a woman to persuade her not to be bad, as saying then “You aren’t like those Orange County women who flake on dates, are you?”
        2. MCMFS8:Even with the most skill, the best one can hope for his “only” 80% of women will not keep their suggestion & promise to meet
          1. MCMJNZ:(so, as to prevent oneself from going crazy) one must think of a date as not promise to meet but as an option.
        3. MCMG3T:When the women do wrong you (as notably here not actually meet), you need lie so to pretend her commitment to you doesn’t matter to you, as telling her “Oh, well the guys wanted to take me out, so it’s just as well” or perhaps “Oh, well Judy just called and wants to go out, so then all go out with her.”
      2. MCMJUC:Is it any wonder then that the group leaders also, when talking to just the men, off-the-cuff, say stuff as “All women are bitches: good for fucking, but anything else, well very rarely -maybe after many fucks, we’ll see.”?
        1. MCMK6Q:–as who really can love (as attach to) a person where not just some but social promises to you are false?
          1. MCMKIK:–especially from women, who have for all history notably demanded commitment & reliability from their mate, but now are delivering the reverse?
      3. MCMK3R:My mother responds to this (initial reaction), ~”That’s verytragic. But what are the men doing to the women that is causing this?”
        1. MCMK8L: Yes, in dating, I’m sure the men are doing unkind things to the women, too. And yes I’d sure like to know what the women have to say on this.  It would probably be stuff like cheating on them when they could get away with it.
        2. MCMKB5:But men have been have been doing stuff like that for all human history. So what possibly could they be doing much worse (indeed to flip the scales, from 10% flake to 90% flake) since ~2005? ‘But they have been doing that for all history!
  2. MCL14G:Very relevantly, see also socially-disposable society prevention & cure.

M31R7R:ADDITIONAL POST HISTORY, in order:

  1. MCINDL:Been talking & alerting of this problem for years, but always included in other contexts.
  2. MCINC7:(pdt2012.11.22mon=4 days ago), started this as part of a reply email to Lauren, at least prior suspecting she may have done such:
    The awful present custom in S.Cal is for women to intentionally flake on a guy on the 1st time they are arranging to meet him, which she’ll do if she’s reasonably assured there is no way if her wrongdoing can get back to her (which is common if a guy only has a personal phone # and/or email of the gal).
    1. Indeed the most popular method is to to get him worked up and excited about meeting her then cancel out on him usually just a few hours before they are supposed to meet him. Usually she will find unprovable fake excuse to cancel on him and feel sorry for her and hope in all that he he forgets to reschedule (as actually she won’t reschedule).
    2. Commonly this is because she never had an intent to go out with him in the first place, she just lied to him she did to get up his hopes so he’ll put out a lot of effort, so she can flatter herself plus really waste his time and get him pissed off, seemingly because her last guy she dated (or guy before that), totally unrelated to him, blew her off or cheated on her or some painful thing  and got away with it, as perhaps she didn’t have the guts to confront him or else punish him, so then this is (very wrongful) “payback” on the world of men, plus self-flattery, by then going to hurt some undeserving man, where she can easily get away with it.
    3. An example of this popular new urban mis-behavior is given by “Jessa sends taunting messages [to have a guy join her at a party where she actually intends not to findable so to waste his whole evening]” in episode 7 of Season 1 of Girls.
    4. Therefore I &many other guys are particularly sensitive & suspicious when that happens.
    5. Plus these women then do damage to the few women who don’t do this, as then when a woman really have an emergency in the first or second meeting, the the guys are reluctant to believe her and instead feel they’ve been once again meanly tricked and must not tolerate it before they are taken advantage of any worse.

    but that writing is universal,

  3. MCINIE:so now created this post
    1. MA0XOK:How:
      1. MA0Y30:create by doing Copy to a new draft of http://1.JotHere.com/3636#MAWYZ1 latest release MB7ERK
      2. MAFH1U:edit to fit, including giving fresh IDs to whole & history items.
  4. MCIOPS:Created core sections (to be completed) & categories. ~10% complete 1st draft.
  5. MCIWE1:saved for safety,~50% complete 1st draft.
  6. MCJ6BA:saved for safety,~65% complete 1st draft.
  7. MCJB9I:saved for safety,~70% complete 1st draft.
  8. MCKJN5:(Section MCJ0IH: now moved to /3707#MCJ0IH; 1 section move; ~71% complete 1st draft.
  9. MCMNY4:~85% complete 1st draft.
  10. MCMVOG:~87 complete 1st draft, but usable so 1st publish.