Oct 282012
MCLE2S:“Secret fu-k associates” -my name for it http://1.JotHere.com/3716#MCLE2S (aka: “Secret fuck associates”)


  1. M87XAJ:All key details are in BOLD with most-essential & -timely first.
  2. MCLFWE:Further construction to be done.


  1. MCLEB6:Basically the rules are (which also apparently go without saying)
    1. MCLF30:“You don’t kiss & tell” (something I might expect would only be played by elementary students but here is played by full-grown adults, even those with kids) and to a super degree.
    2. MCLEWQ:Guys & gals, even those who are single or divorced, meet at parties & I suppose other events (perhaps all social), pair up and then go off and have sex, BUT then the strict rule is whenever romance/sex happens it must be secret (nobody but you to can know nor expect it) including afterwards you must act like the sex & romance never happened and “means nothing”, other than occasionally the two of you might go off and have sex again but again all secretly.
      1. MCLEY9:So whatever romantic relationship you might have is entirely hidden from anyone else in the community, and perhaps even strangers on the street -even if you’re both single or divorced.
      2. MCLEYZ:And you certainly don’t have “a relationship”. Maybe only after you’ve done this for a couple years would “a relationship” be a possibility. Instead you are to act as if you like but absolutely don’t need each other.
    3. MCLFYA:This is NOT fuck buddies or friends-with-benefits but notably less as
      1. MCLG3W:any sex/romance & even the possibilities of it, is kept secret between the two of you
      2. MCLG3I:you are not buddies or friends (I guess as that might suggest you might be romantic), rather just associates; I guess it’s okay to say you know each other but only because you happen to run into each other at parties and talk.
  2. MCLELI:And it appears the women are driving this trend, in order to (in their incorrect perspective) to imitate the guys (merely have lots of just-sex) without appearing as a slut.
    1. MCLFPZ:And indeed it seems the men overall very pleased to follow, I guess since they get plenty of booty from it plus can themselves be with multiple women in the same circle.
      1. MCLFR7:Indeed when I argued with Paul that Michelle never warned me, he told me effectively “Of course she didn’t warn you, it’s the norm, don’t you know?” and when I said I don’t want this kind of relationship casual sex, I want a real unsecret romance, he effectively told me, quite seriously, “Are you crazy? Nobody does that. Don’t cause problems. You’ll get yourself kicked out.” And for reasons not given (could have been this, but who knows) about 2 months later I was kicked out.


  1. MCLE4J:to my great surprise, 2012.07~ I was told this was the expected norm within at least http://Meetup.com/OC-Good-Life (Meetup.com’s 2nd largest general entertainment group in Orange County)  by prominent networker & member Paul; before that I had never heard of it nor even imagined it, despite my books worth of publications on romance.
    1. MCLGCI:it was in response to member Michelle pulling this on me. She tells me she is divorced & not dating anyone but still basically, after finding my sexual performance with her “amazing”, effectively told me to be her secret boy-toy, indeed insisted I be for our romance to continue, plus insisted that our romance, including the whole night of sex we just had, now be kept totally secret, else I would be a very bad man (so worthy of her doing malign counter-action against, which I’m told she did).
  2. MCLH4J:It’s not clear yet how wide-spread this is, but Michelle & Paul (who haven’t had sex, according to him & her, he saying ~”I’ve tried a couple of years”) both insisted it was the norm within http://Meetup.com/OC-Good-Life.
  3. MCLJ06:I also saw it something possibly like this implied in http://meetup.com/SCPUA1/events/76149832 (2012.08.12 PUA training session for OC) +/- ~1 month (not sure of exact instance) where the slide suggested saying to a gal you just had sex with “You’re not the type of gal to declare this (the sex we had) on your Facebook relationship status, are you?” -meaning to teach how to persuade the woman not to not to declare the romance with you on her Facebook relationship status.


  1. MCLIIR:Not well clear yet: see When & Where.


  1. MCLHA9:I find this romance form disgusting and further indication of the socially disposable & deteriorating society, including:
    1. MCLHNW:While I suspect many men can mostly-safely engage in this behavior, I don’t suspect it would be emotionally healthy for most women (without special training for it) as they don’t seem to naturally have the ability for casual sex especially with many partners, so in the long-run they will be emotionally harmed.
    2. MCLHU6:Secret romance of any form I suspect to be unhealthy, at least in the long term.
    3. MCLHZ2:This further mis-uses the wrong expression “no relationship” in romance when in fact there is a kind of relationship.


  1. MCLJVZ:Not sure yet how to prevent & cure, or maybe best to just tune-out of it, so TBA.


  1. MCLHFR:Came up with this name at the time of the incident and been meaning to write it up.
  2. MCLHKF:dnow wanted to refer to it at /3707#MCLHCL.
  3. MCLHGR:so now created this post
    1. MA0XOK:How:
      1. MA0Y30:create by doing Copy to a new draft of http://1.JotHere.com/3707#MCJ0IH latest release MCLCCL
      2. MAFH1U:edit to fit, including giving fresh IDs to whole & history items.
  4. MCLJY2:100% complete 1st draft, though likely more updates to come.
  5. MCLK2N:Some link fixing.