Jan 262013
 
 Posted by on UTC 2013.01.26Sat at 02:46 of dating MCIODJ, of dating website M3UE4M, SaberPen M7LS46  Add comments
MH80RE:

MAZBVC:THIS POST

  1. M33YGV:Title: Dislike people showing images of others they’ve dated on their dating site profile, or perhaps anywhere?
  2. M33YH4:URL: http://1.JotHere.com/3969#MH80RE
  3. MAYCNN:is currently being updated ~1x/month; ID of last item is version ID.
  4. M87XAJ:has all key details are in BOLD with most-essential & -timely first.
  5. MAZBWQ:has SUBSECTIONS: WHAT & WHY, WHEN, WHERECOST, WHO’S PARTICIPATING, WHAT TO DO, ADDITIONAL DETAILSPOST TODO, CREATORS, ADDITIONAL DETAILS FOR ORGANIZERS/DEVELOPERSFOOTNOTES, POST HISTORY.

MAXFOC:WHAT & WHY

  1. MH836H:MGYB2V: Dislike people showing images of others they’ve dated on their dating site profile, or perhaps anywhere?

    1.  MH8372:Then do you also dislike people showing their past job experience on their resume?
      1. MH837C:-No, there isn’t any difference, other than, as tragically typical, you have just let romance&sex, nature’s the most powerful drug, specifically romantic jealousy (anti-love)  and social traditions based on that anti-love, to delude you into here thinking & behaving unlovingly, unhealthily, & destructively!
        1. MH84DQ:Just like names of prior employers & clients on a resume, having the images and names of those someone has dated shows they aren’t hiding anything, well & very quickly tells what & who they attracted to, tells a lot about their experience (if additional details given), and ideally tells of situations they are proud of.
        2. MH84F5:And just as when taking a job a person will & should think “How will it look like on my resume”, then when a person picks someone to date they should be thinking “How will that look on my dating profile”,
          1. MH84KN:eventually even causing them to avoid romances where someone might get hurt once it properly becomes expected that, as it is on resumes, that no experience gaps are allowed on ones dating profile and citations will be checked.
        3. MH84WO:And upset that someone, as typically a man, might be showing off their trophy mates, as if these people were instead “prize pets, notches in one’s belt, or notably mere objects?  Not so fast!
            1. MH8537:One should NOT assume the other persons are objects (unless of course the image/reference portrays the person as an object or slave, as some BDSM image or a facial or similar money shot –all disgusting IMHO). Indeed
              1. MH85OZ:it seems more likely the opposite, as if the person is going to show the other person(s) they’ve dated, then they would be a fool not to expect questions on it, so if they were treating these others as objects, then it will likely come out.
              2. MH85P9:I personally love to show everyone I dated
                1. MH85ZQ:as they are my friends (romance-friends) and would still be my friend if up to me,
                2. MH8605:and I’m very proud of them and the effort I put in us,
                3. MH860X:and I have NEVER treated nor even thought of women I date as objects — rather I want to empower women typically more than they are ready.
          1. MH85LG:And on a resume, prior experience IS by default assumed an “object” (by default, just a job someone did for the money, not something they were personally attached to unless they also state this), however it’s still not only customary but expected to list all recent past works & without gaps.
    2. MHCPCL: And romance-friends, romance-form for the 21st century, will tell you this not-wanting-to-look-at past & other romances is crazy unloving, too.
      1. MHCQ1B:The best romance is based on friendship, right? I & most all say Yes! Well then:
        1. MHCPU6:Would you remove the images off all your past & other friends from your web bio (as from Facebook) and from pictures & videos album? No, of course wouldn’t! (unless you become a “hate the world” misanthrope or other psychological disorder). Then don’t do that to your past romances!
        2. MHCPPJ:Do we erase & hide all our friends from each other, especially from our new friends?  Of course not! Indeed a new friend would likely flee if s/he thought you had no other friends. Well then don’t do it from your romances!
          1. MHCQ6D:This not ever wanting to talk about & see past & other romances, so mostly never talking-about & showing them, is disgusting, unloving & tremendously disrespectful to the investment of them and to us (would you throw away the principle of your prior financial investments? Of course not!) and is frankly disgustingly shallow & selfish (catering to jealousy, not love).
    3. MH83A0:So, yep, it probably won’t be easy here with one’s visceral jealous response, but Grow Up!
      1. MH84NH:Sure you may be in the majority to dislike such images, but also at one time the majority of people disliked non-whites, women, and LGBT’s having full rights; in other words, your dislike may be commonplace, but it’s still wrong, so grow up!
      2. MH83AW:Instead, teach yourself to think the antithesis of jealousy, compersion; that article on romantic jealousy (anti-love), top-ranked in Google, both explains & helps.
    4. MH83BF:Also thanks to OkCupid.com/profile/TXPistol_in_CA for making me aware that potentially many people still have this mis-view so causing me to add this point.”

-end of WHAT & WHY

MAX1LQ:WHEN

  1.  .

-end of WHEN

MAX1N4:WHERE

  1. .

-end of WHERE

MAX1VD:COST

  1. .

-end of COST

MAXDSI:WHO’S PARTICIPATING?

  1. .

-end of WHO’S PARTICIPATING?

MEG922:WHAT TO DO

  1. MH86OZ:How to easily protect yourself from such mis-judgement and/or teach others to judge appropriately?

    1. MHCZZF:do 1 or more of the following:
      1. MHD00B:Teaching but at some cost of protecting yourself
        1. MH813V: For every image or collection of images showing a person with other(s) they’ve dated that grouping is relevant or else a person’s freedom to show that but where it does or could generate such complaints, to end of the subtitle, append a note teaching viewers to update their view.
          1. MHD1GA:The note would be say one of the following:
            1. MH81B2:“Dislike someone showing here images of others they’ve dated? Then read http://1.JotHere.com/3969#MH80RE .”
            2. MH81Y4:“MH81Y4: Dislike me showing here images of others I’ve dated? –read http://1.JotHere.com/3969#MH80RE .”
              1. MH86XB:I just did this on the 2 such pics on http://okcupid.com/profile/SaberPen/photos.
          2. MHD1M0:Opinions
            1. MHD1MR:I am absolutely in favor of this.
          3. MHD1MU:doing only this (so images still stay on dating profile)
            1. MHD1NZ:Opinions
              1. MHD1OT:On thinking of this, I was strongly in favor.
              2. MHD1PX:My bud Lauren  (when I briefly mentioned it in our meeting 2013.01.26Sat) said this was a “no go” and ~”Women don’t want to be taught, and probably won’t be”.
              3. MHD1SB:That caused me to be maybe not be in favor, to consider also Create separate web page(s).
      2. MHD02X:Protecting yourself while still not making secret ones history
        1. MHD055:Have separate web page(s) to hold details of other romances (such as these images) which could be inappropriately upsetting (as from jealousy) which new romance prospects won’t generally initially see but can see reasonably soon.
          1. MHD0GP:This could possibly be titled “Romance experience details”
          2. MHD0EP:I am 1st thinking of a public web pages which one’s dating profile links to but those links aren’t featured.
          3. MHD1XN:Opinions
            1. MHD1YA:I’m not happy about this because it’s semi hiding and not fully being one’s healthy self, but might do it if forced, why I thought of it.
            2. MHD0M8:My bud OCBeachcruiser seemed to think this would work (when I briefly mentioned it in our last call 2013.01.1~).
            3. MHD0IN:My bud Lauren seemed to think this would be okay (when I briefly mentioned it in our meeting 2013.01.26Sat).
    2. MHD4SU:More work soon to be done testing & developing existing solutions and perhaps new ones.

-end of WHAT TO DO

M33M3R:FUTURE PLANS

  1. MHD4VX:just as noted elsewhere here.

-end of FUTURE PLANS

MAX22R:ADDITIONAL DETAILS

  1. MH870U:Some history the topic here

    1. MH8719:OkCupid.com/profile/TXPistol_in_CA was soliciting romance on her profile; quite interested, I nicely responded; but I didn’t hear back, and even after a nice reminder (which is tragically typical on OkCupid for men-seeking-women who are upfront&complete); indeed not until I cleverly strong-armed her to reply, did she. In which she didn’t apologize but explained herself, specifically  “..I chose not to answer you because I don’t want to waste your time.” (which is not a valid excuse but that’s another subject) and “I don’t believe we have similar interests, point of views, or goals. I also don’t appreciate your photos of the ladies you have dated across your dating site profile…as though you are showing off your prized pets. That was a word of advice. ” and then concluded with an insult.
      1. MH886S:However  my pics
        1. MH87R9:are quite appropriate, so her lack of appreciation is
          1. MH8AJL:seemingly just from her  romantic jealousy (anti-love)
          2. MH8AJW:and a bit hypocritical given one of her multiple-choice answers (which, due to its controversial topic, I will not say here)
        2. MH87RU: and were absolutely not “as though [I] was showing off [my] prized pets” , both highly respecting in their image portrail and in their captions, indeed I never even thought this way, but
          1. MH8AOD:she was mis-assuming this against these obvious suggestions otherwise (as maybe because she had some experience where this actually was done but other motivators possible).
      2. MH8887:Still, as she suggests “That was a word of advice”, her unhealthy attitude well could be common among women-seeking-men, maybe especially among Asians (as they tragically tend to be the most socially conservative), so something would need to be done.
      3. MH88BX:So on the phone, I ran her feedback by my new bud OCBeachcruiser (whom I got signed up to OkCupid) and he replied “Yes, I was worried about your pics on your profile with the gals you dated, too –that it would scare off women, why I don’t include such.” But so far, in just about everything but religion, he has been all about making his profile universally appealing  even though I (knowing him) know there are number of very key points he’s not sharing (mostly nothing bad, just often getting a negative reaction since it’s misunderstood); but I’m trying to convince him to share more, letting him know that either OkCupid is safe or is becoming most safe, as:
      4. MH88OO:Despite all this pressure I am NOT with romance started with dishonesty & deliberate incompleteness or being unhealthy (by not showing date pics) in order to address other others unhealthiness. So:
        1. MH88RE:I will not remove but keep these my pics.
        2. MH88S9:Rather, I add a subtitle addendum to change & teach others to fix viewers misconception.
          1. MH88V1:Indeed I set it up so everyone can easily add such addendum, to help teach & change the world to instead think healthy and protect against such unhealthiness.
        3. MH8903:As that’s the way I do things. I am “Juror 8“: I will go against & work-to-change everyone if it’s the most healthy thing for all. As I believe everyone should do.
          1. MH89DO:And haughty TXPistol_in_CA may raise an eyebrow now seeing how, to me, her “word of advice” got applied.
      5. MHD22U: Added possible-additional (or separate) option Have separate web page(s).

-end of ADDITIONAL DETAILS

MDE167:POST TODO, roughly in order:

  1. .

-end of POST TODO

MAYJ80:CREATORS

  1. MEMPEO:The author

  2. MEMPF1:No one else.

-end of CREATORS


MDAIRC:ADDITIONAL DETAILS FOR ORGANIZERS/DEVELOPERS

  1. Just ask.

-end of ADDITIONAL DETAILS FOR ORGANIZERS/DEVELOPERS

MDAIRC:FOOTNOTES

  1. none

-end of FOOTNOTES

M31R7R:POST HISTORY, in order:

  1. MH89II:creation motivation.
  2. MH80SA:so now create this post
    1. MEHCSP: for a placeholder to share the details the addendum references.
    2. MEHCCA:via Copy to new Draft of http://1.JotHere.com/3909#MENQDN latest release MENYNX, then create new IDs & edit to fit.
  3. MH8ATO:1st published.
  4. MHD4WU:d Added MHCPCL,  MHD02X & parent & sub Have separate web page(s), MHD4SU; & minor fixes; pst2013.01.28Mon1733.

-end of POST HISTORY